Death

A quick word about the image for this post. I looked at a lot of AI images for death, and chose this one. It seemed to me to indicate death without being overly macbre or frightening. I have a couple of AI image generating sites, and this is probably my favoirite - www.freepik.com . Techincally, it's free, but to get more out of it, you might want to subscribe. As of right now, the lowest fee subscription is just under $6/month which I think is a good deal.

I'm prompted to write this post by two events that occurred in the last day or two. First was us watching Leonardo on TV. Second, during the show, I got a text from a friend that another dear friend, Elaine, had died. We met her and her husband through mutual friends some thirty-five years ago. Our mutual friends have died as well. While we've not seen much of her in recent years, she was always a favorite of ours. She was witty, snappy, opinionated, and brilliant. Despite the occasional differences of opinion, we shared a love of good wine and food, conversation, and progressive politics.

As I understand it, she had a mild heart attack and had returned home and was doing well. One morning, her grandson, who was living with them, checked on her when she hadn't gotten up and found that she had died sometime during the night or morning.

First of all, that is probably everyone's dream - to die in our sleep. I recall reading once that only abut five percent of us enjoy that exit from life, assuming its joyful. Most of us will linger with illness and perhaps in a nursing home until that final moment. No, that's not a pleasant thought, but it appears to be fact.

First, and I've said this before, death does not frighten me. I'm an Atheist and do not believe in either reward or punishment post-death. I'm convinced that we will share the same fate that every other living thing experiences after death; nothing. We return to the beginning which was nothing until that squiggly little sperm penetrated an egg.

But, my curiosity forces me to wonder what people are experiencing in the moments before death. I suppose, someone dying violently, say in a plane or car crash or fire, that sort of horrible death, our brain probably goes into shock and we have no conscious thoughts.

I've witnessed a several deaths in my lifetime. One was from sepsis where infection overwhelms the body and its immune system. In that case, it seemed that the individual was panicking and fighting to stay alive. There was a great deal of thrashing and limbs flailing as if to fight off death. It was fairly brief, but somewhat violent.

Another was my mother who died from complications after hernia surgery, brought on my emphysema and a heart condition that developed into pneumonia. In her case, she lapsed into a coma and death seemed to come quietly. That was a long time ago, and for all I know the doctors may have had her on morphine for pain and that eased her exit from life.

The third one was a young man who had been hit by a car as he leaned into the trunk of his car. I don't know all the details of the other driver. I just know that when I arrived, both of his legs were nearly severed by being caught between the tow car bumpers. He was conscious, it seems, but in a great deal of pain, possibly in shock, and calling loudly for his mother. He died either on the way to the hospital or shortly thereafter.

Back to our friend who it sounds like died in her sleep. Did she really? If so, did she have any sense that she was dying? Was dying like a dream, or did she suddenly wake up for a few seconds in pain and then died? Was there a fleeting thought that this was the end?

What does our brain do if it knows we are dying? Does it shut down to protect us from that knowledge? Does our body produce a chemical that numbs the pain and awareness of dying?

These may be questions that can never be answered. Or, perhaps, as we continue to map the brain and understand its workings, we will someday know what the process of dying looks like. At the same time, while we might be able to describe in medical and technical terms what the process is, we can never know what the dying person is thinking or feeling.

And, as an Atheist, I believe that everything ends with death. All our memories, experiences, knowledge, and those last thoughts in the last seconds of life are gone forever, just like us.

Religions want us to believe there is a life after death. Is this true for any other life form in our universe, or are we the only living creatures who are allowed to believe in an afterlife? We know that some animals, whales, chimpanzees, and a few other primates and even birds have a sense of self. They have emotions. They fear death. Why would they fear death if they don't believe in an afterlife?

These are the sort of thoughts that often fill my mind. They are typically generated by some experience or story that I'm aware of. Based on what I've heard, it sounds like it was that sort of energy and thirst for knowledge that drove Leonardo to sketch the human body, machines of war, and technological concepts that were centuries ahead of their time.